don't have sex, it gives you cancer.
December 19, 2009 I was in the car with my mom and little sister, on our way to my grandparent's house for Christmas. My call phone rang and I answered, it was my doctor. She asked if it was possible that I come in to her office to discuss my results. Common sense told me this wasn't a good sign. I explained to her that I had already left town and wouldn't be back till after Christmas. She told me she understood and that she could give me my results over the phone. She said my blood results came back fine but my pap was a different story. I had what she called human papillomavirus. I had taken health class so I knew it was an STD, the most commend in fact. She began to explain further and the words "cervical cancer" came out of her mouth. My mom said it looked like someone had slapped me. I heard the "c" word and froze. I knew it was always a possibility with me. Cancer is very high in my family. At fourteen we found a lump the size of a golf ball in my left breast. Scared the family to death. We found out that was just a cyst, and I had many more to come. Doctor said it wasn't dangerous but that I should keep an eye on my breasts in case of other changes. But this was a whole nether thing. Sixteen with cancer. How is that possible? I couldn’t think straight, "does that mean I can't have kids. Am I going to have to go through kemo.? cancer.? How did this happen.?" my mom calling my name for the twentieth time finally caught my attention. I looked at her, my jaw still open, phone almost falling out of my hand. I had held the phone out for her to take. My mom listened to my doctor, asked the questions I couldn't form. When she hung up the phone and looked at me, it was that look your parents give you when they tell you spot ran away to live on a farm, or the kitty on the side of the road is just sleeping. I didn't want her to make me feel better. I wanted the truth. I had known something was wrong for a few weeks. Discharge was off; I was getting infections every other week. My boyfriend had brought up that I needed to get checked because I hadn't since a couple months before we got together. I told him it was a good idea. Though I was sure I didn't have anything, he and my previous boyfriend had both been virgins when we got together. I had no symptoms, and I thought I just knew my body. Turns out, like most of the time, I was wrong and he was right. My mother snapped me out of my thoughts again and told me the doctor said that we were in no rush; we didn't need to come back to town just yet. That this was a common thing and it was an easy treatment. I was in no danger, and if I didn't want to share it, no one had to know. Then my phone buzzed again. It was a text message from my boyfriend. He wanted to know what was taking me so long to write back. I still wasn't able to function very well. So I typed "it was my doctor. She says I have cervical cancer. But not to freak out because I’ll be ok." of course, it took a whole 2.5 seconds for him to call me and demand an explanation. I had to tell him that no, I was not kidding, and yes, I really do have it. I can't tell you his exact reaction. He hides his emotions when he worries about scaring me. It took me a few hours to remember a specific detail a while back... right before I got with my previous boyfriend I had a one night stand with the guy that I was in love with for three years, I didn't know that night he'd never call me again, and he'd deny to the whole world he met me that night, or tell me that he was dating one of my friends. It happened in ten minutes. For three years I did everything for that boy, was his slave. I finally got exactly what I wanted, and it gave me cancer. We spent the rest of the trip trying to act cool, we didn't want to tell anyone and scare them until we knew exactly what was happening. After my appointment with my doctor she referred me to my gyno, I needed a cervix biopsy. I had one done on my breast and knew it was not pleasant. I had it scheduled for a few weeks later. Let me tell you, I’ll take a needle biopsy to them taking "just a little tissue" out any day. Had to wait another couple weeks for those results to come in. after they did, and they were able to tell me how bad it was we could decide what procedure I got. They did the freezing of the top layers of my cervix. It’s a fifteen minute procedure, they same thing they do to freeze off warts. If you've ever stuck your tongue to a pop cycle, or an ice cube... and it sticks... you know what that felt like. I made my first appointment, showed up, and they told me they didn't have the correct equipment for the procedure. So I had to wait another two weeks. I finally got the procedure, glad it was finally over with, as I was also trying not to puke from pain. they said I’d have to wait three months for my follow up, to see if it works or not. The next three months were not fun. Still had stomach pains. Felt sick. My immune system was shot. And I was a sixteen year old in a tiny town. Life is usually generally not amazing. Finally, my mom knocks on my door at nine in the morning with his mail, my results were in. I opened the paper with shaking hands to read "you next appointment in November sixth 2010." I was already not happy with my gyno. She frankly, well is not as pleasant as you should be to be in a work place like that. So I called. The woman that answered the phone took ten minutes to find me in the computer and tell me that my cells were not back to normal yet but we would just wait till November to see if they'd go away on their own. I myself was very mad. So was my boyfriend. After a few more weeks I got restless, made a check up with my regular doctor and she asked how I was doing. I explained to her what happened and she got very mad, left the room, and stomped back in telling me she would get my exact diagnosis and find out what was happening with me. She said to come back in two weeks and she'd have my results. I thought "oh great, more waiting." but my family-the part that knew- was behind me. Helping me to get through it, see the bright side, make jokes, and forget about it. When my appointment finally arrived I went with my best friend, so she could hold my hand while they gave me the news. Doctor comes in smiling. She hands me two pieces of paper and says my procedure had worked perfectly, and I’ve been cancer free for months. I thought I was going to cry. I wanted to jump up and down. After so long of waiting and not knowing it was finally over. After praying every night, going to every cancer benefit, paying donations, doing research, eating healthy, it was finally over. On my MySpace I posted that I was a survivor. And all the sudden I got message after message and comments telling me congrats, and I love you, and omg I think I might have it too.! It was insane to see how many people cared for me, or needed my advice, that just wanted to know how I did it, how my family did it. I told them all the same thing. I had the help of my loving family, and my amazing boyfriend who were behind me the whole way. Now I’m a senior in high school, I have my own car, I’m getting married, and I might be four weeks pregnant. I’ve never been happier, and without everything I went through I wouldn't be me. Never regret anything in life, at one point it was exactly what you wanted.